Midnight Serenade [Triolet]

"Your tender voice floats over the melody,
As I embrace you in a midnight serenade."

^ I felt as if those two lines were a grand symphony playing the music of your heart. It went together to nicely that it couldnt have been written better. I loved that these two lines were the ones repeated because the added so much power to what you had to say and got your message across quite effectively.

Overall I enjoyed your word choice. You created a romantic atmosphere that had me wanting to experiance the scene you were describing. I loved the style because you didnt let it shape the way you write and have it limit you, your voice shined throughout. I loved how you said what you had to say in so few words without the need of excess vocabulary getting in the way. It was short but sweet having me wishing it was longer.

Well done!
*5/5*

I really have to try and write one of these .. They're so sweet . I love the idea , and it may be short but it's worded perfectly . Really cute <3

Very nice poem.
You captured the Triolet style very well.
I've never written one. i think i'm going to try it..

I like the love the way this poem shows deep love in a few words.

"Your tender voice floats over the melody"

I love this line. the word choise was beautiful. lovely!

**Ada**
*aBSwaBHiaPL*

Aren't troilet's meant to be 10 sylabols to a line, too? I've forgotten, it's been ages since I wrote one.

This is pretty decent. You have to be careful in poems that have strict form that you don't lose any meaning through the form. I dislike the repetition of 'tender' (not in the lines where it has to be repeated but in the third line); I'd rather you implicitly told the reader how it is tender, rather than straight out tell them that it's tender. But I understand that this form doesn't really let that happen. Also, because of the repetition that this form requires (as advice for future) try not to use any of the same words in the other lines as the ones repeated (to an extent).

I did like the idea of this poem though, it was different and original which is very refershing. And I like the title, too. Plus the word serenade is such a pretty word, aha.
You've still done a great job on this poem, 5/5

jess ~