The Strangers Eye

Shades of black have always been my home
The darker the shade the deeper I've known
Analogies foretelling of my life and my past
Poems I have written of dreams far and vast

The things I've wanted but never received
Like love and joy with someone who believed
I think about it all and then wonder why
What is it I see beneath the strangers eye

I sit and go crazy over things I didn't do
Like opening the door when introduced to you
And though it may sound silly I cannot deny
I live a life with shame and saying goodbye

I've preached to people about problems I have
Falling in love too fast and breaking in halve
But no matter the explanation given each time
I watch doors close as I keep losing my mind

They tell me there is one who will love me
Someone I've not met but someone who will be
And each time I hear it I replay it in my head
But it doesn't bring peace when I sit in my bed

I'm so f** stupid I think as I cry alone
So f** stupid to believe in a happy home
So stupid to think the next could just change
Cause if I question it, I am the one to blame

Why do I give everything when no one else will
I ask myself often with dreams I cannot feel
Why do they say its never me but it really is
And why aren't my prayers answered for my kids

I never wanted anything in this whole life
But a chance to have family and a loving wife
It never mattered to me if I were to be rich
I didn't care if she was sweet or a total b**

So why is it that everyone keeps walking away
I sit and wonder with words I can never convey
I wish they could see and it wasn't a surprise
I just can't help but dream in the strangers eye