Im not as perfect as u wish I were now I kick back and realize my life is just a blur. They say that I am shifty and not worth her time but life without her feels more like a crime. Whenever I think about her, I always get butterflies and it breaks my heart every time she cries. She was my baby girl forever and ever through thick and think no matter what the endeavor. It took me years just to see what that girl saw in me I must have been blind to not see what I always had in front of me. but that was long ago and I can only think about what will never be. I can only wait for tomorrow maybe then there will be no pain and sorrow. I can see her face plain as day and it is one of the prices I must pay. Ive done things I cant take back maybe this is one game I cant re-rack. I destroyed her and broke her heart and my foolish pride almost tore us apart. Maybe all I can do is dream and hope until my lungs fill up and I begin to choke. Now I can barely stand to hear her name because the end result is still the same old pain. I have ways of dealing with this problem of mine I can forget about the tears Ive cried when the whiskey hits my mind. The pills can only numb the ache of my broken soul as my thoughts become unclear and my future begins to roll. She always had her special place there but now Im stuck as if in a giant snare. So badly, I want her by my side. It wouldve made things so much simpler if I wouldve finished that bottle and died. But thats not going to be the end of my story. I will go out in a blaze of glory. With everything I could have ever wanted except the one thing that will always leave me haunted. The memory of that perfect girl who gave me everything the best four years of my life that now only seemed like a fling. Now she belongs to another and its still happening. The cold hard truth in the mirror makes me remember that it all ended with the beginning of my undoing
