I really liked this it reminded me of a experience i had too keep up the great work x

The poem is very sweet...
yet it still distracts a little bit from the actual context the fact you don't capitalise letters... not that you actually must to, poetry tends to be more free than prose in terms of grammar but you risk that the reader get's a little bit off at the beginning and misses the actual depth of the poem...
It flows quite well though in the fourth stanza the first line get's a little bit too long...

the poem itself is wonderful and meaningful...

*keep going*

Ok the poem is sweet.
but there is alot to be fixed.
first before you submit a poem check for spelling errors.
it was a bit boring at first, but then it got interesting. i like the way you twisted the poem, from uncertainty to pure pain.. The way she left and you where just there, still holding on to hope...until the end.
also once you start rhyming please end it. don't worry you're not the only one i do that too.
The poem doesn't have a flow at all, but sometimes that's okay... this time tho i think that if you just read it again and again out loud then it will help you alot...

I was as honest as i could be ^_^

**Ada**
*aBSwaBHiaPL*

The poem wasn't bad, but it wasn't the best
I felt that the grammar could have been a lot better, and it needed a bit more structure

Also, if you're going to rhyme, make sure that the end words actually rhyme (ex: been and screen...they don't sound the same, even though they look the same)

The lengths of the lines were also a tad iffy, and it affected the flow of the poem when read silently and aloud.

Watch out for spelling!! There weren't a lot of errors, but there were enough to make the reader have to read over what you wrote in order to make sense of what you were trying to convey.

Use commas wisely. They hinder the flow of your poem when they are used incorrectly.

Sorry if I came across a little harsh, I'm just trying to help you out a little bit. I've been writing for a little while. But yea, it's not a bad poem. Just needs a little editing, and it'll be great.

3/5

This is cute, but could use alittle bit of work,, but i liked it!

great job!

4/5

Aly

Well i thought u wrote a really good poem. i could relate to some of the lines to my current situation. you worded it well, and it was an emotional piece. keep it up. 5/5.

Cool
5/5
keep it up

WOW ii REALLY LiiKED THiiS POEM.. iiT BROUGHT BACK SOME MEMORiES AND iiT WAS REALLY GOOD... GREAT JOB 5/5 :]

I liked it.
Everyone else here has basically already told you basically all I had to say, so i won't repeat them.
It reminded me of something that happened to me, last year. You spoke from you're heart and didn't worry about anything else. I often do that. Just a tip, its very good that you do that, but if your going to post it, just change or mix up a bit of the words, so that people can understand and relate more. Not much, just enough.
Oh, and obviously something terrible happened to you, and I'm so sorry. Us girls tend to be oblivious to the world, i would know >.< Well, if you ever need advice or a friend, don't be afraid to PM mhkay?
Good job, keep it up. ^^

This is a great piece.
(Although I agree with most of the other comments, I'm not going to repeat their points.)

I really like the last line. It seems almost incomplete, which mimics how you feel about this love - it's not over.

Good luck (with her, and with writing)!~

~Missy