Why must people think i am cold,
because i refuse to be emotionally bold?
it is how i survived the difficult years,
when i had no one to listen, no one to hold.
i am getting older now,
perhaps i should learn to change somehow?
i can't seem to do it here,
maybe i should start over in another town?
moving has never bothered me before,
every couple of years i would walk through a new door.
but i have gotten comfortable here,
have i lost my drive for more?
i seem to have run out of places to run,
my life has become a sad depressing one.
no drive, nothing to strive for,
i am ashamed to call myself my fathers son.
i see those around me filled with joy,
those i would call friend have moved on,
married and full of happiness,
having children of their own, mostly boys.
i envy what they have,
what i seem unable to grab.
i wish them all the best,
but yet feel betrayed and lost.
i thought i found true love,
it felt so good to feel like i belonged.
it ended suddenly with a loud crash,
leaving nothing but half a man behind.
i loved her with all my heart and soul
poured all i was into her warm hands
my hopes, dreams, ambitions, my future
now i have nothing but emptiness and failure.
i would run back to her with open arms
but that isn't likely to happen in this life
she has found another man to complete her
another grasp at the brass ring.
