A Lost Friend

Awww sweetie, im sure wilson liked this, and im sure you do help him, youre an amzing friend and author =)

Interesting. I think this would be a good short story as well as a rhyming poem.

Obviously has great emotion in it, you expressed that frequently. I think you would be better adding rhymes in your work, but still, I like it how it is. =)

First of all: this is a nice piece (: So heart-felt and filled with sincere ache. I agree with Nyell^ about the fourth line in the last stanza, a comma is appropriate there, and the short pause does make it more powerful. Otherwise, I enjoyed the read.
Keep writing down the bones! `

I'll start with two critiques:

A suggestion about the last stanza- I think that you need comma in the fourth line, because it flows better that way when it's being read out loud. Like this- "I'm trying to save him, he says"-. A comma in that place makes reader to take a short brake and it's more effective.

The second critique- The line "I offer him a true friend" threw me off a bit. I don't want to offend you, this is just my opinion. Maybe you can edit it, and replace the word "friend" with "friendship" or something like that.

Except those ^^ minor things, I really liked this piece of poetry. The most amazing thing about the poem are the emotions that you put in every single line, whole poem is filled with an amount of heartbreaking feelings. I like how simple it sounds, but it holds true power and you managed to convey the message on a really good way.

All in all, this is truly nicely written.