I'm not sure I can find any real inspiration in this. You've certainly given it a lot of thought and I applaud your attention to the theme. However, for me personally I'm left with a sense that you've set out a scene that you've not populated. You know what I mean? Like you have a stage with no actors, poetically speaking. I'd love to know your intent on this. I like stark, abrupt poetry, but I don't understand the direction of this.