You're Beautiful. (Gravity) [Ternazelle]

by Stephanie   Oct 3, 2008


You're like gravity bouncing around in my mind [You're beautiful],
You're full of drug-induced mania, inflating all of my love for you.
You're like gravity bouncing around in my mind [You're beautiful].

Twisting me around in all the laughter that life has drew.
I've fallen with some difficulty, being defeated by love's gravity -
You're full of drug-induced mania, inflating all of my love for you.

Oh boy, if you could only see what your love does to me,
And after all the time that's passed, I'm still hypnotized by your face.
[I've fallen with some difficulty, being defeated by love's gravity.]

For so long, this world was shifting and I couldn't find my place,
But you picked me up from the floor and sheltered me from harm,
And after all the time that's passed, I'm still hypnotized by your face.

Your touch sends fire through my body as I rest silently in your arms,
Baby, you're much more than anyone in the world gives you credit for,
But you picked me up from the floor and sheltered me from harm.

[There's nothing in this world you have forsaken me; nothing more]
You're like gravity bouncing around in my mind [You're beautiful] -
Baby, you're much more than anyone in the world gives you credit for,
You're like gravity bouncing around in my mind [You're beautiful].

October 3, 2008
(c) Stephanie Lynn

`````````````````````````````````````````````
1. A
2. B
3. A

4. b
5. C
6. B

7. c
8. D
9. C

10. d
11. E
12. D

13. e
14. F
15. E

16. f
17. A
18. F
19. A

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Soraya Lowe

    Wow. I really liked this.
    Beautifully written. Nice flow.
    The repetition was a nice touch...something that I didn't really expect.

    5/5
    Nice job. Keep writing!

  • 16 years ago

    by Blissful

    I loved the title. Even though it was a simple phrase, I knew you would take it to a whole new level and I wasn't dissapointed. :]

    1st Stanza.
    I could imagine each scene here so flawlessly in my mind. I liked your use of the word "bounce." It was fun and just caught my attention and made me interested n the poem and what was to come next.

    "You're full of drug-induced mania, inflating all of my love for you."
    ^Many poem use the "You're my drug, and I'm addicted" phrase a little too much in their poetry making it somewhat cliche but YOU took it to levels that left me breathless! Your use of the word 'inflate' and 'mania' were flawless in creating this scene. I applaud you. :]

    2nd Stanza.
    I enjoyed the uniqueness here. It was so refreshing to read something new and exciting. Your use of words here were very effective in unmasking your message. "That laughter drew" Beautiful line and I don't think I've seen it anywhere else...great job. :]

    "I've fallen with some difficulty, being defeated by love's gravity"
    ^I know the feeling of falling for someone oh too well and the way you described it as being defeated by gravity was a new twist on a classic phrase.

    3rd Stanza.
    I enjoyed the simplicity here. You just made it work without any fancy things. I could feel the emotion and put myself in your shoes making what you said come alive for me.

    "I'm still hypnotized by your face."
    ^Been there felt that. Where you just stand in a trance like state because you cannot believe the beautiful image before you. Well said.

    4th Stanza.
    I could relate with this stanza immensly. We've all been lost without a trace searching for that one love to radiate our darkened heart and make us believe again. And when we do find it, its the most magical feeling in the world.

    "For so long, this world was shifting and I couldn't find my place,"
    ^I could feel what you were saying, maybe cause I've been there before but also because you expressed it so flawlessly.

    5th Stanza.
    I loved the senusal and romantic feeling I got from this stanza. I imagined myself in my loves arms melting and it just put a smile on my face. You have a way of drawing the reader in and having them imagine clearly what you say...great job!

    "Your touch sends fire through my body"
    ^I just had fire sent through my body just thinking about it. Well said. :]

    7th Stanza.
    Enjoyed the last stanza. It brought everything to a nice close tying it all together flawlessly. It flowed beautifully and left me wanting more. Your use of the word "forsaken" here was quite effective and made the stanza flawless for me.

    I really enjoyed the style you choose to write in. The poem all together was a great read.

    Well done.
    *5/5*

  • 16 years ago

    by Hollymariee

    The pattern is really different but I like it . The wording is amazing ... You should enter this in a contest or something .

  • 16 years ago

    by dora

    Hey hun great poem!! i loved its structure and the words uve used. well done 5/5.

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