"Leave me when the thunder rolls,
And the neon lightning strikes.
So you won't hear my heart shatter,
And when I call your name that night."
- My favorite stanza, by far. I love your usage of neon - it gave me such lovely imagery in my head.
But in the last line I don't think that the 'And' is necessary.
The ending tied up the poem nicely and your word usage was good. The flow was smooth, there weren't any rough spots. And overall, you did a fantastic job. Keep writing. 5/5