Comments : No One Can Mimic

  • 16 years ago

    by Marc Ortiz

    I'm curious is this brendan really your friend? haha. Coz the ending was perfect. I really thought that you were describing your boyfriend or something.

    Anyway the ending was superb. I really like it if someone used the last words of the poem as the title. Well you did so I love this poem. :)

    Well I have to admit. You're really good at making poems that flow very well. As always the flow was smooth. No rocky parts or anything. Also what I like in your style of writing is. In the past poems that I've read from you... You used different types of punctuations, in my opinion it's really good. For me punctuations are like the tone of the poem. A poem without a punctuation is like a song without a rhythm/beat. (My opinion)

    Anyway keep up the good work.

  • 16 years ago

    by BREEawNUHH

    "There's a sparkle in your eyes,
    That no one can take away.
    There's a sweet smile on your face,
    That no one can disobey."

    -- I liked this. I thought it was so cute. Already, it's obvious you care about the person who you're writing this to or for.

    "There's a tone in your sound voice,
    That no one can, for a second, regret.
    There's a scent in your trail,
    That no one can erase,to forget."

    -- In the first line, the word "sound" doesn't.. sound as though it should be there. Maybe I am reading it wrong, but it just doesn't seem right to me. In the last line, there should be a space after the comma.

    "There's a feeling in your touch,
    That no one else can do.
    But there's a meaning in your words you speak to me,
    That no one can mimic; "I Love You"."

    -- Aw. This is sweet. I feel as though it really shows how you feel about this person. Just a suggestion, though: in the third line, instead of "your" before "words", I think "the" would work better, since you have "your" and "you" almost next to each other. "But there's a meaning in THE words you soeak to me,". Again, just a small suggestion.

    Beautiful poem. Keep it up.

    Five out of five. [5/5]

    ``Briana