Empty Pessimistic Heart.

Permenatly
`permanently

desperatly
`desperately

The real thing that bothered me, was how many times you said "heart" in the piece. I think I saw it six times? I guess you can't really do anything about it, but I hope you'll try and be more ... metaphorical.

When you start out talking about how the heart's been broken into so many pieces, they're impossible to bring back together again--you've created a deadening image of sadness, but when you keep repeating "[adjective] heart," it feels like you're putting words instead of pictures in my mind.

but they are so scattered, that they are impossible to find.
`Change up that line a little? It bothered me that you repeated "they" although I can see how that can't be helped. I really liked the stanza, it was just the repeat that poked at my OCD. Maybe... "but when so scattered, they're impossible to find" or something of the like. *shrugs.

I loved with a full optimistic heart that was always followed
when I was in need of advice or didn't know where to go.
`I really liked this. Though I don't think this is what you meant by it, when it says "always followed" I saw a beautiful, stunning person with a big heart and a trail of people stalking after them because they're just so ... content. And it's a sweet message--that life will treat you how you treat it. :)

Third stanza: You switch to "she" when you started with "I" in stanza two. This really bugged me... I feel like you should stick with one instead of switching--the "she" is definitely more effective in my eyes. It's as if you're narrating your whole life as a third person and trying to watch yourself and your mistakes, and you're just replaying through everything like an outer body experience after heart break.

It continued to fall for a beautiful soul that turned out to be something-
she never expected, leading to the crashing of her once optimistic heart.
`Beautiful ending lines. The imagery and emotion I got from these packed a punch--more than the rest of your piece did, and that's amazing. Intentional or not, I love how you break the sentence at "a beautiful soul that turned out to be something" because usually, sad poems about this topic make the ex-lover or lost lover to be "nothing" or something horrible, but you shined a new light.

I think it could start out slightly better at just some points, but you end strong and I think you did a great job :]

..__MiNDYY

This poem was good. I feel as though it has potential to be much better if you were to go back and edit one of these days, but it's still good. I noticed a small typo:

"Heart aches as it is permenatly broken"

~ "permenatly" should be "permanently".

Your word choice is great, but to be honest, I really don't feel much emotion coming from your words, like I normally do. =/

Four out of five. [4/5]

``Briana