If Only Things Were Different

Lonely nights are here once again, bringing with them crippling pain
Each and every time I glare into the mirror, left only with such disdain
Wondering how one could have everything, then left with nothing at all
Hating you comes easily now when you once left me enthralled

Tell me, how can I love you and detest you at the same time?
Love that's turned to hatred and betrayal when once it was sublime
You do something to cause me hurt, I retaliate, back and forth we go
Thoughts of you just bring more tears, didn't know I could feel so low

Brought you pleasure to cause so much trouble between me and friends
Thought that we would last forever, but no chance of making amends
Can never get away for every single night you still haunt my dreams
Hasn't anybody noticed that I'm suffocating in silent screams?

How did things become so screwed up, when it used to be perfect
When there was a time we gave each other all our love and respect
Funny thing is you think I'm so cold that I don't hurt, that I've let it go
When pain is all I can really feel, it's just that I don't let it show

And all the letters, the notes, the presents you ever gave I've kept
Seems the fact it's over is what my heart cannot come to accept
Our picture still in its frame, don't have the strength to part with it yet
No one sees I'm all cut up inside, that I'm living in pain and regret

Used to tell each other everything, now neither of us talks day after day
How can silence be intelligible when there's still so much left to say?
Everything that's needed in a relationship is everything that we now lack
Sad thing is, still love you, would still do anything for you to take me back