Collapsed Senses

by Gabba Gabba Hey   Oct 6, 2008


Lethargy is the eponym of silence
it is the evanescent, draconian smile of the forgotten child.
The lullaby of loneliness.

Victriolic eyes stare with sanguinary appeal
at the embellished despotism
that comes with unyielding defeat;

but, extant and confused

Diaphanous yet cynosure,
the child stands lachrymose,
benighted in endless thought.

Voices yelling at him,
biting him with edentulous mouths
never hurting, but always harming,
remain laudable, confusingly so

For they may be laudable,
but their words drip corrosively,
acidically,
adamantly,
and deadly.

They drip the very essence of life.

His face turns to countenance the gamut of people before him,
but they too are benighted
intransigent in structure
Inimical in disposition
Tenacity unchallenged
for his silence creates unwavering lethargy.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Cotton Candy Clouds

    Victriolic eyes stare with sanguinary appeal
    at the embellished despotism
    that comes with unyielding defeat;

    ^ great job there i love love love those lines honestly

    it was great to read something that took some thinking and had complexity to it you know? like your vocab was so great! 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by ether

    I like this a lot. It makes you think about the language and the themes at the same time which is wonderful. And I like the continuation of lethargy, mentioning it at the beginning and end but carrying it through the poem.

    My only advice here would be to make sure you really grab the reader, perhaps make it a little more personal to them.. somehow.
    Sorry, that's not such great advice.

    I still adore this, 5/5

    jess ~

  • 16 years ago

    by Ares

    Wow! where did this stuff come from?? darling, this is the best you've written! ever!

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