Disaster of not knowing?

I feel the familiar tug of my heart,
From the memories that push it faster,
Making my thoughts cloud my mind,
Jumbling at the terrible disaster,

The horrible pictures that corrupt my soul,
The ugly thoughts and words that are said,
My poor heart can't take it anymore,
I feel as if I am going insane in my head,

I cannot take the feelings that I feel,
And the ragged scars that decorate my wrists,
My own living scares the hell out of me,
I could keep going on with a few lists,

But the main thing that I want to say,
Are all my stupid tiny fears,
Ones that keep me up all night,
And make me cry salty tears,

I cannot stand being alone,
I feel like my world is falling,
But all the scars haunt me,
And the disasters are calling,

My past that reminds me of the hurt,
And the future is was keeps me from going,
I may die sooner or later,
But what can I do from not knowing?

Written by Makalah Oct. 6, 2008