Comments : Who is this guy? dedicated to someone i suddenly love

  • 16 years ago

    by dremermels

    PLEASE SUPPORT..

  • 16 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "I cannot help but just had faith"

    had should be have.

    "May I know this guy conquerring my brain?"

    There is only one "r" in conquering.

    "This is guy is someone I miss each day"

    Delete the "is" before "guy", it will make more sense when you read it.

    "To show and express this undying feelings."

    I love this line, very sweet. "this" should be "these".

    "Can I be with this guy who is truly holding my heart?
    It seems so easy but it's just so hard!
    Can I follow the shout of my soul?
    To fight destiny and contradict people?"

    I liked your wording here, you express yourself very well, and this is a very deep and meaningful poem, nice job.

    "Will this guy feel the same?
    And someday fight for me without shame?
    I don't care if he won't
    For I'm willing to smile another life's pain."

    Good ending, nice questions tagged on in some of the lines, I liked that! :) My advice would be though, to just go back and correct the mistakes I pointed out, other than that this was a great love poem. Keep writing, always and forever....