What we Are

by Steven Topaz   Oct 8, 2008


Like a bird fallen from the nest
Like a diamond ring fallen from the chest.
A precarious home, an unsafe haven.
My love pilfered, envy laiden.

Like the blue moon falling from the sky.
Like a white rose held by you and I.
A mysterious start, a mysterious end.
A determined heart, my stem will never bend,

Like the perfect poem that I will never write
Like the wounded that will continue to fight
A task Impossible, My mind unstoppable.
A hanging doll, never will it fall.

Like roulette spinning again and again.
Like a heart shaped box filled with our never have beens.
A game of chance, Spinning in dance
A bottomless pit, Trimming my love bit by bit.

Like the faithful, in the holocaust
Like the loyal bestfriend, even when love is lost.
A herd of mice, running through traps.
A love of the same breed, you are all I need.

Like an undefiable moment.
Where all wind is lost.
When I make it come easy.
"Wow" will come at a light cost.

Dedicated to S.O.S

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by ForeverASickKid

    Amazing job! im speechless! :)

  • 16 years ago

    by Jessica

    I love how specific and descriptive this was. Each line seemed to be well thought out and created a nice image in your mind. nothing less than a 5, it was great.

  • 16 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    Your writing skill surpasses my first attempt at a love poem I am sure

    It is perfect to my taste and I would not change a word

    The poem flowed wonderfully inside the rhyme scheme with content with meaning that touched my mind, heart, and soul

    Well done 5>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

  • 16 years ago

    by Blissful

    I loved your use of similies your express yourself. It painted an nice image in my mind with your wonderful choice of words. Your rhyming here was flawless and you got what you wanted to say across nicely. Just a beautiful love poem and well written.

    Well done.
    I'm glad I read it.
    *5/5*

  • 16 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    "A mysterious start, a mysterious end."
    `Don't use the same word in every line, perhaps you'd consider finding a synoymn or different word for the second mysterious.

    `First stanza and second have great word choice. Flow/rhyming were nearly flawless.

    Your wording was really unique I thought, there were some places where you didnt need to capitolize words but you did. Otherwise, I thought you did a decent job on this. 5/5.

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