Jugdement Day

by Dark Savior   Oct 8, 2008


The skies part, the four horsemen descend
as an agnostic man this isn't how I pictured my end

all the sneakers I collected and the jewelery I own
seem like a waste of cash when Jesus Christ comes down from his throne

I have nothing to leave, there's no legacy here
the best stuff I ever wrote is still in-between my ears

I think back, think back to my sins.
how many did I scam, how terrible have I been?

Was I an angel or a monster? I hadn't a clue
I asked her to decide, but she said I had to choose.

She said that there was still a chance for me to live
I asked what she wanted and what I could give.

a soul is a terrible thing to waste and it's a terrible thing to bargain with,
but that is what she wanted and was the only thing that I could give

She said that I could finish my works, and right my wrongs,
but when I was done I would rot in hell for all the same wrongs

I could choose an eternity from heaven from this moment on,
or I could live amongst the mortals and finish my job.

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    DS praised Jenn's comment with a very thoughtful comment of his own that should not be lost, so I am placing it here.

    praise by Dark Savior:

    "Thank you,

    This is exactly what I wanted to do rather than lead a person along. I am glad you were able to feel this way as the poem was meant to be just this. I wanted to lead a person but then stop it suddenly and allow their own throught process to continue.

    I'm glad I was able to help you continue to think about things such as this and continue to not only reflect on just words put on a computer screen, but reflect on yourself which is something I struggle with.

    I was scared the ending was too abrupt, but it seems you've gained the insight I was going for.

    Thank you,
    DS "

  • 12 years ago

    by Jenn

    I feel you in this poem, and the mental fight between right in wrong. Good and evil. I am agnostic myself, so I connected on that level.
    The flow was right, by the end it's didn't seem like I was reading it any more. It felt like it was my own mental thoughts. Any writer can connect with there reader's, It's hard to make someone literally become one with your writings. You have a gift.
    Keep it up, and I'll keep reading. :)

    5/5

    xoxox
    Jenn.

  • 16 years ago

    by Krista

    I really liked it. It really displayed emotions well. It was a very good write. I'm not big on religion, but it was very good.

  • 16 years ago

    by Blissful

    I loved the message you got across in this poem. When you really look at it and youre faced with death, will you be happy with the life you live? Which is why I livee my life in a way that I will be proud of. Anyway, I do think that the flow here could be better because some sentence had words that just roughened up the flow but all in all this was a very true and powerful read. The topic you used was different then what one can usually find on this site which made me want to read more and truly think about what you were expressing. Overall a great write.

    Well done.
    *5/5*

  • 16 years ago

    by Mister 47

    I could say a unique poem in subject frist time i read somthing liek that

    hell or heaven right or wrong , who can set teh scale , of right or wrong?

    to be choosen to heaven or hell , that is a thought desicion , but i think it si all about intentions ,and a pure sould and heart at the ed , that can be judged in , someon can hurt another but intend good , and do it by mistake maybe , or not know it could hurt,

    correctiong our wrongs are things, made to be facts if we want to deserve a better life in this world or the next

    over all the poem is a great on , and i enjoyed reading ,

    it made me remmber a lot of things needed to be done in my life!!!

    5/5