Blissful nightmare

Why now?
What makes today so special?
How'd your mind change?
How'd you melt my heart of metal?

When you left
My state of mind changed
My heart closed off
The image of you rearranged

Anger overcame tears
Emotions became distractions
Thoughts went into overdrive
With senseless contradictions

No contact to you
Left my thoughts to ponder
Nothings surprised me
The days just got longer

Now you say
We still have something
You miss me smile
After months of nothing

At first i retaliated
Thought it a dream
Turned to nightmare
With no outbursting scream

I don't even like you
But i can't stop thinking
What if you've changed?
My stomach started sinking

I imagine a day
In a new routine
Me in your arms
In a world so serene

Snapped back to reality
When the communication stops
No word from you i hear
Once again my stomach drops

Entrenched with anger
Mellowed by confusion
Seduced by sadness
Needing the explanation

Up and down
The roller coaster we share
Taking me to the place
Of my blissful nightmare