Old habits.
The feeling of the blade on my skin.
That familiar sting.
Something I haven't felt for a long time now.
Something I missed.
I forgot how good it felt for the skin to split.
For the blood to flow.
For the pain to take over the anger inside.
It was his fault.
I never thought he could make me do it again.
She's saved me from what my father made me into.
But when he came back into my mind...
I lost my control.
He told me there was nothing left of us.
He told me I was nothing.
He told me I was worthless.
He told me he was leaving again.
It's his loss.
Guilt eating at me, like nothing before.
That gnawing feeling, like the skin never parted.
I haven't yet told her, but I know she'll see.
The marks are so fresh, they're almost still bleeding.
I have to tell her. I know that I do.
I just don't know how.
Just like the last time, he caused me this pain.
Old habits die hard.
Addictions die harder.
