Hidden Feelings

I looked into his eyes one night,
And got lost beneath their depth,
And wanted to express myself,
Revealing the secrets kept.

"I long for you and want much more",
Is what I covet to say,
But never could reveal those words,
As we live another day.

But on a day he cried to me,
"Tony, I am not okay",
I grabbed my phone with both my hands,
And not knowing what to say.

He cried to me that he wants more,
and yet it scared me away,
I told him not to try so hard,
As I felt myself betrayed.

I betrayed myself and much more,
So I comforted him instead,
Feeling I made a big mistake,
As my hand holds up my head.

I pulled the phone to me closer,
As I ~hear~ him smiling at me,
I then tried to share my true thoughts,
Instead mumble rapidly.

He said laughing, "Stop Mumbling",
As I had to smile back,
Now we continue just as friends,
Leaving my heart sad and black.

But I say to myself in tears,
"It just wasn't meant to be",
As I continue to live life,
Hidden beneath poetry.

Where I grasp my thoughts in my words,
That veil within metaphor,
So no one can define my grief,
As I shut and lock that door.