Fading Away

Fluffy clouds above us,
They float so slowly and softly.
Blue skies are ahead,
So clearly we can see.

So clearly can i see it as well... ^^ it's really a wonderful imagery... it pictured the environment very nicely...

Our bodies in the grass,
Enjoying the summer's taste.
Drinking up the freshest of air-
Not letting any go to waste.

Interesting metaphors... "summer's taste" and "Drinking up the freshest of air"
Very original...
For some reason i imagined the air would have the taste of mint... i don't know why, though... :)

Shapes we create,
Using the imagination of our minds.
The fluffy balls etching in our memories:
Creativity and love entwined.

This stanza is also quite good... The imagery is great, as well... I just wondered, when you say "Creativity and love entwined", if it does not have a deeper meaning that i cannot yet understand... ;)

I wish for this moment to last-
Forever in grass we'll lay.
Head's together: tasting summer,
Watching the clouds fading away.

Again the "tasting summer"... A very nice metaphor... :)
This stanza is also quite sweet... The "fading away of the clouds" is wonderful when together with the "fading away of the poem"... The poem doesn't just end, but it seems to fade... I liked it a lot...

5/5 doubtless

*isabel*

"Fluffy clouds above us,
They float so slowly and softly."
`To me I love using more interesting adjectives, like maybe to replace slowly and softly I'd put gracefully.. but simple words are great as well! :] This paints a beautiful vivid image in my mind even though the words are simple. Beautiful.

"Blue skies are ahead,
So clearly we can see."
`Again, simply said.. but you can picture this vividly. :]

"Drinking up the freshest of air-
Not letting any go to waste."
`Love it! I loved the orginality in this line.. drinking up the freshest of air.. now I give you props on that one.. it could have been like Breathing up the freshest of air.. boring! right? But you changed it up and made it your own. Well done!

"The fluffy balls etching in our memories:
Creativity and love entwined."
`How adorable is this!

"Head's together: tasting summer,
Watching the clouds fading away."
`Love your originality in this line as well... tasting summer. You really spiced it up and made it your own instead of saying something that is way overused.

I'm pretty much speechless.
You did a great job.
Simple poem yet you managed to paint a vivid, gorgeous image in my mind. :]
5/5 without a doubt!

I enjoy my read. It's one of my favorite poem of yours so far. It attracts my attention and making me wanted to read on. Well done. It merits 5/5, kel.

I have no complicated comments other than I liked it and it seemed to make me feel good to read it. thanks

This is such a touching piece of poetry, every line was filled with such imagery and was captivating from the start to the finish.

"Our bodies in the grass,
Enjoying the summer's taste.
Drinking up the freshest of air-
Not letting any go to waste."

Excellent word choice, this really had me wanting to read more. Take care, 5/5 from me. Keep writing, always and forever...