As I lay here and think of you,
I remember everything we've been through.
The ups the downs, the twists the turns,
The back and forths, the love that burns.
But I'm here by myself and all alone,
while you lay with her happy and at home.
You can say that you truly do love me,
But that truth falls short, you see,
Because while you tell me all these pretty things
You are still with someone else who clings
Too closely to you, and while you say you lie to her,
She believes in all of your slurr.
So is it really her you're lying to?
Or is it to me and I just can't see through
Your lovely voice and caring eyes,
And you have this power over me which I despise
Due to the fact, you know you have it
And use it to make me come back from every hit.
As I lay here wishing I was on a knife,
So I could feel it rip and tear through my life,
Pushing my body further down onto my bed,
To feel it go deeper, and turn my sheets to red.
Why did you have to stay with her?
Why couldn't you give me what you say I deserve?
We could've been perfect together
Living in the sun, and enjoying the weather.
But instead I am left to endure the storm
By myself and not able to feel anything warm.
I can't move on, I don't know how,
I've never needed to until now.
The three of us aren't the same
And we're way to old to be playing this game.
Therefore it's my move to end it
But you won't leave my mind, not a bit.
Yet it has to end, no more will a play,
For my pain only increases every single day.
As I lay here, looking for a way out,
My thoughts drift to something that without a doubt,
Would end all my pain, and set me free,
A way that would end all your thoughts of me.
I reach under my pillow for that knife,
The one that will now take my life,
And as I slowly bring to my chest
I shed a tear, then soon let out all the rest.
I try to call your cell to give you one last chance,
But no one picks up, and my tears enhance.
This is what I have to do, and now I'm convinced its so,
As the knife comes at me, fast then slow,
It pierces my chest as I force it through,
No pain, only release from the world and from you.
I hope you'll think of me now and then,
And remember me as more than just a friend.
I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you,
But remember... I never stopped loving you...
***I was thinking about doing a continuation of this poem, either her in heaven looking down, or her waking up in the hospital to see he still cared to save her... Please comment and let me know!!***
