This is good and it makes me stop to think about wat our world is really like. your a good poet! good job! 5/5

Your poems are always packed with so much meaning and expressed so nicely! After reading this one, I just stopped and thought about what our world has come to. A lot of people go through livin without giving the world a second thought, their so consumed in their own life problems. Your poems always make me think and I thank you for sharing them. More people need to read poems like this to fully comprehend whats going on around them.

Well done.
*5/5*

You made this one flow a tad better then the other one but the length of it felt to me as if it didnt have enough time to get your point across, I know you probably just wrote this in your spare time as there feels little to no emotion behind it,(i hope im not wrong) or i might of just insulted you but it felt blank and just delievering a short ryhmed message. I really dont know what I should give you on this one.

From just reading the first stanza, I'm very impressed with your word choice and your ability to rhyme and make the poem flow very smoothly. Great work.

"As the temperature of the globe warmed
Like bees busily producing their honey"
`Oh I love the simile here, it was very original, :] Great job!

Great idea to repeat the first stanza as the last, great conclusion. It worked perfectly.

Well done. 5/5.

This poem was brilliant! It had such great concepts to it. It flowed beautifully and had great word usage.

My favorite part was:
"Like bees busily producing their honey
Mankind was concerned about money"
^^ this was a very good analogy. The way you compared bees to humans was flawless and very original. I loved this concept!

5/5 for sure! Keep it up!

Um . The flow is a little off on this one .

"We were living in our pretend world
As the cold reality gradually unfurled
Passion rose as we rested assured
That any storm could be endured "

^^ I frikken adore this opening...I found it to be filled with such depth and so many conflicting emotions that I'm instantly drawn into the piece, hooked, and eager to read more.

"Where the busy industrious workers swarmed
As the temperature of the globe warmed
Like bees busily producing their honey
Mankind was concerned about money"

^^ Ohhh how true is this sentiment..I like this stanza for the truth that it holds behind it, it's sad how many people are only concerned with money instead of the more finer things in life.

"With the illusion that all on earth was fine
We progressed slowly to the end of the line
Like the rebellious angels that somehow fell
Nature's fury unleashed a manmade hell"

^^My favourite stanza of the piece..I'm not sure why..I just think this is beautifully and elegantly written.

"We were living in our pretend world
As the cold reality gradually unfurled
Passion rose as we rested assured
That any storm could be endured "

^^I like the repetition here, it worked well, whereas usually I'm not to keen on it as I think it sometimes kills the meaning of the poem.

However, here, I thought it added to the overall effect of the piece.

I love this.

This is great cuz it tells the truth!