by Jaime Oct 13, 2008
category :
Friendship, family /
broken friendship
We were walking on the path of life, |
This is a moving piece, clearly written with heartfelt sincerity and steering clear of cliches. That's great, but you've fallen into the "your you're" trap, and added to some other lazy grammar it comes across as quite juvenile for an otherwise mature write. I know people don't really care about writing properly any more, but if you can make the effort to be eloquent with your words you may as well with the grammar too. :-) |