Out of the Ashes
by Shinobi Oct 13, 2008
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Shining sun couldn't tell if it's true |
Did You Like This Poem?
Latest Comments
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15 years ago
by Hollymariee
This is incredibly sweet . I've been in your friend's situation , and it was the ones who really loved me who pulled me out . Flawless flow , and such good wording and imagery . The only thing is the one stanza where the rhyme scheme changes . You should really change that , I don't like it . 5/5
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16 years ago
by Stephanie
"Shining sun couldn't tell if it's true
Glowing moon was painted in blood"
- I love the imagery that you created in 'shining sun' and 'glowing moon', it was very eye catching and it definitely hooked me onto the poem.
"Life as we knew it, was never so rough"
- I feel as if the comma in this line isn't needed. It sort of breaks up the flow a little bit.
But other than that, I feel as if you did a marvelous job on this one. To be quite honest, I think I prefer this poem better. :] Everything was beautifully written and the imagery and your wording blew me away. A well deserved 5/5.
Take care,
Stephanie -
16 years ago
by ether
This is a really cute poem. I like how it was written and the message in it. I hope Melanie appreciates this :)
I think that this poem would benefit from less filler words and focus in more on making the sylabols in the lines the same, or close.
Other than that, this is good. You have great vocab in this and you paint good images, 5/5
jess ~
