That forgotton feeling

No offense, but it gives me the feeling that this poem was kind of force a bit. The flow is not very natural (my poems aren't neither). However, the meaning does come out.

Your conclusion is perfect. I really need to work on concluding my poems, too.

I disagree with amber. i think the repetitive line made the poem more unique. almost as if it was a song. i think this was my favorite stanza.

And that forgotten feeling,
Where the whole world goes deaf.
And it's that forgotten feeling,
Is all that I've got left.

very deep and emotional, great job.

Honestly,the repeated line got real old,real fast.For me it made it hard to concentrate on the meaning of the poem.I had to go back and read it twice to make sure that I had understood it correctly.But being as you have a rating of 5 on this poem,I will not vote because I don't want to bring it down.

-Amber

That was... wow. amazing. just amazing. I love the flow of the poem and i totally dig the last two lines. overall a wonderful write. 5/5 ~KM~

"When your tired of living off crumbs."
^"you're" not "your"

I loved the rhyming you had here. It didnt feel forced and just flowed flawlessly. Your repitition was quite effective in getting your message across and didnt seem over done so I applaud you on that. Your emotions were strong and I could feel what you were saying because it all felt so real. It was deep and the meaning behind it was quite powerful. Great choice of words and overall and nicely constructed sad poem.

Well done.
*5/5*