Comments : Lonley Path

  • Wow!
    i really like the diction in this poem. simply yer it created a huge impact in your words..and although it is sad...the ending still hols on to hope.. for a better day...i like the detail and imagery you used.. painted a picture in my mind along with the poem. only a talented poet can do that. your rhyming is very good too gives a great to the whole poem.

    "Lighting will precede the sound
    But hope is not to be found
    Close your eyes and walk this field
    Someday your wounds will be healed"
    >this stanza is just amazing.. it aborbs the whole emotion of the poem. i like the way it's starts... no hope....but like every being we still hold on... for a chance to heal...the hard chips of life are very well captured in the whole poem.
    keep it up!
    **Ada**
    *aBSwaBHiaPL*

  • 16 years ago

    by Dark Savior

    Very well done poem. I think that it's one of my favorite to date as well. I think that your a very good writer. I am going to add you to my favorites list.

    I looked over this poem and it took me a moment or two to understand the meaning behind it.

    It's like a person's life, it is always changing and through ups and downs there are still problems with it, but yet they still continue on.

    I'm not sure why you got a less than five on this poem. the only reason I can see is possible the change in structure.

    It is dark to walk alone
    Trembling with fear your every bone
    Life is a two way path
    Because for one It weight her mass

    that one where you went from all long sentences to, two shorter ones.

    I think that it didn't take away from the poem...but added to it.

    You get 5/5 once again.

    wonderful poem!

  • 16 years ago

    by Ingrid

    Hold my hand and let us ride
    This empty land, from side to side
    Hold my hand my dear ___
    If someone can light it, I am sure you can

    ^^ AW! This was so d*mned beautiful!
    I loved the whole poem, it shows your romantic mind, but this last stanza really blew me away!
    Keep writing, sweetheart, keep writing!

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 16 years ago

    by kelleyana

    Waw, well done, i like your poetic style and choice of words. keep it up.