Bull

There are times when these eyes close
or lie awake for days
watch the autumn leaves fall slower
to be reflected in my gaze

its the simple things to realize
just all that is in me
the purity and darkness
i fear will never be

there are days i feel his arms
and smell his toxic scent
remember, somehow, just a little
of what was never meant

maybe I'll let a tear drop
or a smile light up my face
dress in clothes that flatter
and pretend to have some grace

i can walk around a little numb
to the things they seem to feel
its their memories that let me live
each moment we try to steal

but i prefer to walk ever slowly
so as not to retrace my steps
look around at life with hope
and know it somehow helps

one day I'm sure to find the meaning
forget all that was lost back then
because i know the simple truth is this
i just want to fall in love again