This poem is a little bit of a mess because of the unorginized structure. There is no stanza seperation, and it makes it hard to read.
The rhymes are good, and the language is simple and expresses many strong feelings.

Consider revising the poem, and I'm sure it would be a lot better 4/5

Oh yeah i know how that feels ...

It takes a lot for me to add a poem to my favorites but this one has made it.You and I have went through nearly the exact same thing.The emotion was heartfelt and aching.Flow was wonderful.Word choice was simple and basic which fit.Only thing I can suggest is breaking it into seperate stanzas of four lines.5/5

-Amber

I like this poem it makes a sweet story. The flow was awesome. I might split up in to 2 or more stanzas though so that readers don't just fly through and end up not paying attention do the detail that you put into this poem. But it is good either way. 5/5

I suggest, first of all, you pay some attention to syllabication. The flow is so important in poetry and the first verse doesn't really ... flow.
{Onwards, James...}
Also, I should mention, you may be correct in that you put a space before each comma and period (although I believe that it belongs afterwards, not before...) but as a social norm, it can be quite annoying.
"For hours you had held me tight ,
Trying to make all his wrongs right ." - I like that couplet... although it doesn't necessary flow, it does present a semi-unique perspective on love.
Also, "You we're everything"... we're is we are... You meant to use the word "Were," as in the past tense action of having been.
:)

"You dried my tears and made me laugh,
Helping me forget the past ."
- I think for the second line, you should say "You helped me to forget the past" and end the first line with a semi-colon. It would help with the flow/syllabication.
"Even though I knew much better ,
I hoped I could be yours forever ."
-"And even though I knew much better
I hoped to be yours forever." [It's better with the flow/syllabication of the poem...]

You held me close and kissed my eyes :
"No longer will you have to cry .
I love you girl , I really do ;
Please tell me that you love me too ."
-Okay, first of all, nobody really EVER kisses someone's eyes... it's just weird...
Here's my suggestion:
"You held me close and kissed my soul :
"Don't worry... I will never go;
I love you girl , I really do ;
Please tell me that you love me too ."
{You need not put my suggestions into effect; they are merely just that: suggestions.}
The last four verses of that line are okay; A tad cliche, but in essence, every poem is.
"Summer days were filled with laughter ;
It seemed to be like nothing mattered ."
- When you use like, it usually is comparing something. Maybe say "seeming as if nothing mattered."... That would also make it have a smoother flow.
The last two lines of this verse are quite original, and I actually like them.

The poem... it just doesn't connect. This person is speaking about how she could take back time, but why? She never shows any remorse for her actions and never shows any regrets... so why is it that she wishes she could turn back time?
You need to be more specific, and maybe try and connect her wishing she could turn back time with a sort of regret for letting him go.

It was an okay poem. Not excellent, but good.

4/5

~Stephen White

Wow.. gurl this was amzing.. i love it. the words where cute n sad.. i love it. Awesome job. love the flow too.. =) keep it up.

take care,
Frenchy

I LOVE THIS POEM SO MUCH....I REALLY LOVE B/C I KNOW HOW IT FEELS...n im still tryna get over the guy...I THINK LOTS OF PEOPLE ((GIRLS n BOYS)) CAN RELATE TO THIS

Ok. Well.... i was planning on critiquing you... but it seems IdTakeABulletForYou has already done all that i was going to add. So, i wont critique.
Well done, i believe.
The emotion was a tad... less meaningful then i would have liked. But good none the less. Rhyming was virtually flawless, it had its bits and pieces here and there but every work does.
All in all,
Good job.
*Chaotic Angel*
5/5

This is so sad...I'm sat in work with tears in my eyes at this..

"As I lay there in your arms ,
I'd never felt so safe and warm .
Months ago I could've called you mine ,
Oh how I wish I could turn back time ."

^^This hit me like a ton of bricks. Simple, yet effective as it's filled with so emotion.

"You we're everything I'd never known ;
I couldn't believe the love you'd shown .
For hours you had held me tight ,
Trying to make all his wrongs right .

You dried my tears and made me laugh,
Helping me forget the past .
The silly things that you would do
Would make me want to be with you .
Even though I knew much better ,
I hoped I could be yours forever ."

^^ I like these stanzas as you're showing the past...that you were hurt but he's making it better...that you're falling for someone new..and the longingness shines through the written words.

"With one last kiss upon my head ,
I learnt to trust the things you said ;
And as that night faded into day ,
My hand in yours I prayed we'd stay .

Summer days were filled with laughter ;
It seemed to be like nothing mattered .
But as the leaves fell to the ground ,
We seemed to lose what we had found ."

^^This is so emotional...to find someone, to fall for them and then for it all to change without knowing why, without expecting it is so cruel and hurtful and you show that wonderfully in these two stanzas.

"You had no time , it had to end ;
So we parted ways remaining friends .
You begged and pleaded "Please don't cry ."
I smiled and told you "I'll be fine ."

But now I lay me down to sleep ,
And hug myself as I start to weep .
Over and over I replay that night ,
When everything had felt so right . "

^^ I find this incredibly sad. The whole pretending everything's fine, that you're okay only to be dying inside is something so common and so sad..and again the depth and emotion is overwhelming, with this making very a powerful closing.

Beautiful.

Very simple with a nice content and message....
the two poems i read from you starts sweet and ends in a very sad way....... again good job but i wasn't so you know.. umm sucked? into this poem unlike the first one i read... can't find the word.. but yea you r such a great writer.. keep it up!

Omg.... the last 2 stanzas and the first one was AMAZING> the rest was good but i really those. 5/5. good job. ~KM~

This is a good piece, a lil bit strange, but I think that I can understand what you want to say.i think that while you were with this boy, you were still being hurt by some other guy, and that you were healing your wounds with him.But, as the time went by, you fell for him, and you didn't know that parting from him would be this painfull, am I right?
Please tell me what you think.
Btw:I've been trough simular situation
This poem is a lil bit strange, but I think that you tried to put your own feelings there, and you put it with great sincerity.
I'm giving you 5/5.

Its a good poem, however i found that it was a little bit messy has there was no structure in the stanzas, they jumped from 4 lines to 6 lines. I feel that this poem could be a lot better if the stanzas were kept the same length however you wrote your feelings well and because you wrote simply it was easy to understand your feelings

hope this helps

This piece was so sad, and yet so beautiful. That she had found love and happiness again after obviously being hurt was the beautiful part...the sad part was when she began to trust again and fall in love, and he left...
Very relatable and written well.

'As I lay there in your arms ,
I'd never felt so safe and warm .
Months ago I could've called you mine ,
Oh how I wish I could turn back time .'

^ in so many ways this reminded me of my ex..

'You dried my tears and made me laugh,
Helping me forget the past .
The silly things that you would do
Would make me want to be with you .
Even though I knew much better ,
I hoped I could be yours forever .'

^ this remind me of the boy that showed me happiness again the one that made my broken heart fall, and my shattered mind trust...
Unfortunately he had to go his own way..

'With one last kiss upon my head ,
I learnt to trust the things you said ;
And as that night faded into day ,
My hand in yours I prayed we'd stay .

You had no time , it had to end ;
So we parted ways remaining friends .
You begged and pleaded "Please don't cry ."
I smiled and told you "I'll be fine ." '

^ these stanza's where so well written they really portrayed the feelings.

"But now I lay me down to sleep ,
And hug myself as I start to weep .
Over and over I replay that night ,
When everything had felt so right ."

^ A very nice concluding stanza.

This piece was written very well I enjoyed it alot. The emotions where vivid and made my heart ache for the two boys that have divided my heart.

Excellent job.
5/5 -Paula.

But as the leaves fell to the ground ,
We seemed to lose what we had found .

~i love this part. so descriptive, and such a unique way of stating the message.

all in all a great poem. rhyme was beautiful, flow was magnificent.

Wow. i recieved your PM and decided to check it out, but never to realize this would be that spectacular! i'll make sure i read more!

5/5 well written

Wow, this poem is beautiful.

Aw! this reminds me of my style, mostly because a lot of people can relate to it! And yours as well flows so right! You were really good at making your reader feel where your coming from! great job!

Omg, i def love this poem and can relate to it with my first ex!! this was simply flawless and could imagine every word you wrote! Excellent job!