I really enjoyed this poem-it's complex and really shows the interworking of a mind...I've read it three times, and I think I understand what you're saying. I didn't see anything grammatical that I would fix, though I do think that the ending was really abrupt. I call endings like that 'Poe endings'. Euhm, other than that I'm absolutely in love with it, and great job!

Reached Chapter 5 and understood the whole idea. An incomplete and painful love between a once loving man and woman.
This is acutally a short story written in short lines. I liked the content, and you used some metaphores which were really amazing: Like the poker game when you had 5 cards with the word "escape" on them.
There weren't any rhymes, but who could rhyme such a long and complex piece...

Overall it is nicely written, nice job 5/5

(Prolouge) telling him to wipe the look off cuz he aint going to get more made me wonder what this piece was trully going to be about.

(CH1)i love those combined words " Cigarrete kisses". i love the thinking your using it makes love reading this piece. and thats good seeing at its so early in the piece.

(CH2)oh wow how you have stunned me. i thought i was looking at good times in the past but then you began to crush it. i think you being a little hard there, it those memories you are going to need.

(CH3) giving the world chance, givng out love. 2 me there one in the same, but back to the way your brain is working

(CH4)I like the way love is expressed in these stanza. i dont worry not a shitty metaphor.

(CH5)i think you should of escaped too dont worry

(CH6)...(epilouge) uhm wow i had to combine these 2 cuz i did not quite understand ch.6 until i read the epilouge and wow.

( all together) the piece was wonderfully written, i have never once come across a piece like this. i love rhyming (no rhyming here)but i really do like the thinking and really ike this poem...sweet job

- Raindrops 5/5

P.S im going to do another poem anyway

Oh wow, that is a really long poem. Hmm, at least it had a good flow through out the whole of it. I liked how you formated it. 5/5

Oh and i liked how you brock it up into chapters

Caught my thoughts:

Between cigarette kisses,
Goodbye glances: no second chances.
- just really good

Perhaps you are playing your cards right
I can't even count what hand I'm on.
- perfect assosiation with cards as a game

I'd give you wings but you'd just fall,
The world knows you're no angel
- I like the way you assosiate angels with innocence

Remember we used to make fun
Of those birds that couldn't fly?
We called them flightless (joyless),
When really, we're no better.
- I love this part, showing that we make fun of others peoples faults, while we're really concerned about our own

Nothing is quite like inside jokes
Or sentences that warm from the mind.
Walked down the street with those signs,
We wanted to give people a chance to be loved
- I liked the entire chapter, but this part was the best

Chapter 4
- I love the whole chapter, I think it was the best one

You appear in the last second, my insides glowing,
Still, I smile, as if I know what's going to happen.
- Love it

And the Epilouge was as close to perfection as you can get

Overall impression:
I thought this was a truly great piece of work. You have good reason to be proud of this. It is very long, and it is very complicated, and I think
that someone not used to reading poetry or someone with lack of depth or someone who doesn't take the time to read it properly, would neither enjoy it
or understand it. It depends on what target group your leaning toward I guess.
But all in all - excellent piece.

Maybe I lost myself somewhere
Along the road, along the way,
Between cigarette kisses,
Goodbye glances: no second chances.

There is so much power in those words. I can truly say that you are an above average poet on this site. I was wanting more and more. I really loved this poem and felt that it truly was just that a poem.

Form was off and the flow sort of came off track at the end, but all through I really liked it. These are the two which I mean:

It all makes sense. You're a poison.
A cancer spreading through me,
And there's nothing that can be done now,
Nothing that can hold this together.

So I'll take my last steps toward you,
Falling short, or is it just an illusion?
You appear in the last second, my insides glowing,
Still, I smile, as if I know what's going to happen.

How many months ago was it now?
We walked down streets with wood pieces,
Black marker, scribbled letters "FREE HUGS"
We made more friends that day then I'd ever know.

I loved that, it tells you a story and what type of person you are. I really think that this is one of my favorite poems on this site...and as such it deserves a five. I'm also going to add it to my favorite poem list.

I really appreciate you writing this and sharing it with the rest of the world.

5/5

Okay, to start off I really do like the idea of the poem. Although it is long it makes sense as to why. You explain exactly what it is that you are feeling throughout the poem.

Here are a few of my ideas:
1) I love when a writer can write a poem that has flow even though it doesn't rhyme, but I feel like this poem is just a bunch of words written down onto a piece of paper and broken up in to what ever random lines seemed right.
- this poem could probably use a little bit more flow to it. It doesn't necessarily need to rhyme but just be easier to read.

2) Each stanza is really well put together, but I don't think they really complete themselves. My favorite stanza of the whole poem is:
Maybe I lost myself somewhere
Along the road, along the way,
Between cigarette kisses,
Goodbye glances: no second chances.
- when I read this stanza it feels finished and I am ready to go on to the next stanza. I feel like when you finished this stanza there was a smile on your face.

3) You did a really good job, this poem has a great story, and I love how you put the ideas together. I for one am not the greatest poet in the world and I don't expect you to accept my ideas completely many of my poems could use some redoing.
- I feel like this poem can have a lot more potential though.

I am going to give you 4/5 because my ideas are personal preferences. Well Done, and keep up the good work :)

First off, I love the way you put this into segments and called them chapters. Very unique. But I do believe that some of them can be removed and be put into a different poem all together.

"Goodbye glances: no second chances." <-- I don't know what it is about this line but I love it! :)

The way you talk about this person as being "plastic" gives us great insight to this characters personality.

"With a smile on our faces weeks after,
Always saying 'free hugs are the best kinds of hugs',
It didn't matter that they were the only kind,
It mattered because we were giving the world a chance." <-- very very true!

This is a beautiful, rich, inspiring poem. I do think the title of this poem is a little bit misleading, though. The prologue, the first chapter and about halfway through the second follow the title. But, as the poem progresses, it strays away from what it seems that it is originally intended to be about. "Looking For Love in All the Wrong Bedrooms" seems, to me, that it would be about a person who sleeps with several people in the hopes of feeling loved. If you wish to keep the title, I suggest not wandering off in a different direction (thats what the title is for, to keep you on track). But do NOT let all those other beautiful, amazing stanzas go to waste! Like I said earlier, put them in another poem. Or, you could just change the title. It seems that you are sending two different messages with this.

Your stanzas all flow from one to another well and the lines within them flow as well.

All in all, very VERY well written. This is a beautiful, intriguing, amazing peice of work. I very much enjoyed reading it.
4/5
~Stefanie

Im speechless this poem was amazing

Amazing. i honestly am speechless. i think you just became the top in my favorite poets.

-Lilith

I felt like u wrote it for me 5/5 xox

Beautiful!