Monster

What is happening to me
this feeling, surging through my body that i can't stop
unforgiving tears racing down my hot, red face
thoughts of you pounding in my head every time my crying delivers the course wooden floor another pathetic drop
who is this creature glaring back at me through the reflection of my mirror
this girl with the sunken, charcoal hued bags under glazed, sleep deprived eyes
above a broken heart, slowly unhinging from the duct tape and glue, a fragile sight created by a reacurring cycle of bearing my soul to you and receiving nothing but false hope and lies
I try to catch my breath between the splashes of my never ending waterfall
Niccotine coroted lungs from a hopeless addiction turn my chest into a blazing fire
As many things as I've given up
No matter how hard I try, my love for you I can't seem to retire
I don't take any mind altering chemicals, you've been the only drug I needed
Every dose I took so gently, fought for our love with all of me, and now I'm starting to feel as though the high has left me defeated
look what you've turned me into
a heart broken monster with a lost dream
my nightmares of reality slowly coming out of the darkness
I awake in a cold sweat with a glass shattering scream
but finally I have seen the light, I have discovered the antidote to break this spell
First at peace with myself I must be in order to cease the hurt I've felt
Slowly the venom of your love is being rid of my system
I can feel the dna of the monster and my own beginning to separate, and with it all the pain starting to melt
And as I look into the mirror once again, I am relieved by the sight I see
For I see not a monster but a girl whos lived, loved, and learned that when you're dealing with love, there's no escaping the person it turns you into, as humans that is our flaw
But we have the control and power to return to our normal identity, and as I turn off the light and take one more look in the mirror, I know that I will never allow a man to transform me back into the monster I once saw