It's days like today,
Relatively normal days...simple & uncomplicated,
Days like today can drive me insane.
It's the quiet nights,
the nights where I can lay down and simply...think.
Those are the nights I'm most frightened.
It's the times I let my mind be,
the times where I no longer escape it.
Those are the times when reality isn't real anymore.
I can't help but question my own sanity,
I can't help to think I'm a lost soul waiting for departure.
I can't help but wish for the day when I too will be found.
My voice is growing weak,
My cry can no longer be heard.
My will cannot carry me any further.
My knees are far too scarred,
they no longer want to lift me.
My heart completely broken can no longer hold the pieces,
it disappears & slowly fades away.
Even you may wonder how I hit rock bottom,
and maybe even how I managed to fall even further.
You may wonder why I become enraged,
and maybe even why it blinds me so.
You may wonder when you stopped knowing every little thing about me,
and maybe even wonder when I once again became a stranger to you.
I can tell you,
I can write it to you,
I can yell until I'm out of breath...
And never will I be able to tell you what broke me once,
and once for good.
Memories come & memories go,
you watch them replay in my head over & over again.
Thinking...wondering about the girl in every scene,
wishing you could help,
wishing you could save her.
I can see the horror in your face,
You know don't you?
You realized you are me
Can you feel it too?
Can you feel the rush of emotions floating into my body?
Can you hear my heart pumping faster & faster each time?
Can you feel the agony as I fall to my knees?
Do you hear me yelling...hating the world?
Can you answer me when I ask why?
Why Me?
Those are the questions I ask,
The questions I ask when I stand in front of the mirror.
You are me.
I am you.
I hate you,
but really I hate me.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
The tears will never help,
the pity will only make you angrier.
Pick yourself up & wipe away the tears.
Erase any sign of weakness,
& smile like you never have before.
Put on the show,
be the star that you've been for so long.
It's days like today,
simple...& uncomplicated.
Days like today can drive me insane.
Days like today,
where you become someone else again,
& you stand there staring at that girl in the mirror.
Hating her for being weak.
It's days like today when it's easier to be someone else.
It's days like today that I stop thinking & I start pretending.
The broken girl in the mirror can wait,
she can go another day hoping to find all those missing pieces.
That broken girl can push aside all the anger,
she can scream for a little bit longer,
she can tell you that everything is OK.
That broken girl will fool you each and every time,
but really that broken girl just fooled herself.
& the days like today,
the frightening nights,
the times when it's far worse than just sadness,
they'll be her ongoing nightmare,
she'll drown in her own tears & screams,
wondering how she lost herself...
she will cradle her body...
& no longer will she pray for someone to hear her.
It'll be a day like today,
a day just as simple and uncomplicated,
a day where sanity vanishes
& leaves no trace of that girl who stopped wishing & started fading.
