Sometimes I wish

Sometimes I wish I knew why I feel this way,
Sometimes I wish I understood my pain,
Sometimes i wish i could make it go away.
I wish I knew what caused it why I insist on fighting it alone.
I never intended to hurt you,
I'd give anything for you to understand,
I'd give anything to make you stop blaming yourself.
You didn't hurt me, you never did anything wrong.
Something inside broke, and i dont know how to fix it.

I hate the fact that I cant show you the real me,
I hate it that you cant see past my smile,
I hate it that you believe everything I say.
Most of all I hate the fact that despite everything you stick around and watch me die a slow death,
I just hate it that you let me hurt you as much I have.

Don't you see your words no longer soothe my aching heart?
Can't you see you're tears no longer stop my racing thoughts?
Can't you see your hugs no longer warm me?
Don't you see you've already lost me?

You wish to find me,
You wish to understand me,
You wish to fix me,
You wish to see me smile like before?

I can't begin to explain what I feel,
I can't explain why i want to yell in anger,
I can't explain why I cry night after night,
I can't let you in,
I wont be hurt anymore...
...I hurt enough on my own.

Sometimes I wish that for once,

You'd fight me, and refuse to let me be alone.