Outside Looking In

How can I be happy to be a human being?
When all my senses have been dulled away
I use to search for some reason to believe
But the truth is there's nothing here for me

I feel sick everytime I look into the mirror
Seeing the pieces of me I try to cut
But the blade cannot break this outer shell
And I'm left to sit here in silence and rot

It's like I am outside of my body looking in
And all I see is an emptiness so vast and cold
Words cannot even describe the shame I feel
For never really living before I got much too old

I run out into the wild air and let it rain on me
My hands are rough and shaky in the cold
I let my feelings go numb so I can look away
I am done just trying to do what I am told