Incredible, I wish I could rate this a ten. Your chioce of words is simply impecable. Not only is it a great poem it would be an awesome song/ Just trememdous... I liked the way u ended every part the same, and started it with the next like of the first part.... just amazing

This one is my favorite, it's really deep and I can relate.
Hope to see more posts from you soon =)

I liked this poem. It is a sad one about love. I'm sure that there are a lot of people who could relate to it in one way or another. The rhyming was great and kept the flow going good. 5/5

SERIOUSLY AMAZING, your flow was great, your pictures and words played on so well. It was greatly original nice work^^

This was really amazing. I liked the vast vocabulary that you used. The title really suited the poem and I like that you repeated it throughout the poem. 5/5

You have fantastic vocabulary and what sets you apart from the other guys is that you know how to use it and mke sense of it.

With one resplendent orb, these secrets impart,
A tear falls forever in a shattered heart.

repeating these lines over and over again makes your poem have that lasting affect it definetly works.

Very well done. I'm impressed by the fact that you actually knew who Lamarca was at all.

It's a pretty straight forward poem with a lot of words that can be interchanged. I felt that it didn't take away from the poem but didn't help it either.

This poem was really well done and I enjoyed the fact that it was done in a different style. I was happy to see you challenge yourself, I felt that you concentrated on following that rather than on the rythmes or the poem itself.

It's very well done, and I think that it's a good poem.

5/5

Excellent job on this form. Deep emotion, excellent word choice and the rhyming is not forced. Had I not already cast my 3 votes for the weekly contest, I surely would have nominated this one. Good luck, this one is a winner!

The win is very deserved

Very well written. These lines are the ones that reverberated for me.

With one resplendent orb, these secrets impart,
A tear falls forever in a shattered heart.

Aching for this misery to lead astray,
The memory of falling for each cliche'.
Cinched to each syllable thinking they mattered,
Within your deceptive grip: my heart shattered.

Repeating these lines brought it all together:

With one resplendent orb, these secrets impart,
A tear falls forever in a shattered heart.

I can hear the sound of a heart breaking and the tears as they fall. I am sure most people who read this can relate to it in some fashion. Well written and deserving of the win.

Magical and divine...........
Beautifully crafted......... I loved it.

Wow nice poem man

I think you poems is THE GREATS I HAVE EVER EVER EVER heard it is fantastic you are so good at writng them

kyha xx ily

Simply beautiful. every word was arranged and magickal. all the emotion meant to be felt were apparent. you truly have talent.

.[Bow].

This is so great... Of course you know that you won lol but ya it really is... I think it may be the best poem iv ever read... Excellent job!!

I love the title of this poem it has so much emotion in it. The rhyme scheme is great as well as the rythm. I can defenatly relate to the feelings in this poem. I look forward to reading your other work
Well Written

WWWWWWOOOOWWW?!!! never had i thought that someone could write a poem so beautiful as this one. your words flow more than the mississippi river. your comphrehension skills are very high. i can tell that you are an intelligent person who can use their knowledge to come up with this this masterpiece.

"With one resplendent orb, these secrets impart,
A tear falls forever in a shattered heart.
Aching for this misery to lead astray
The memory of falling for each cliche'.
Our love has devolved into a common sin,
Remorse splinters my body from deep within.
Each pious word soon falls under mere pretense,
Consequently -- actions were at my expense.
Yet lingering still on the cliffs of my mind,
A strong and haunting love for you is defined.
With one resplendent orb, these secrets impart,
A tear falls forever in a shattered heart. "

^^I absolutely adore this opening stanza.
The emotion and depth is incredible throughout, while the flow is faultless and the imagery is beautifully painted, it created such striking pictures for me in my mind, that it was almost like I could -see-everything that you were describing.

"Aching for this misery to lead astray,
The memory of falling for each cliche'.
Cinched to each syllable thinking they mattered,
Within your deceptive grip: my heart shattered.
Tricked into depending on my worst mistake,
Still craving your taste even through this heartache.
Baby I'm missing you like nothing has changed,
When fact of the matter: my world's rearranged.
Take a fleeting glimpse at what life I have left,
While it slides through the cracks, senselessly bereft.
With one resplendent orb, these secrets impart,
A tear falls forever in a shattered heart."

^^This is just getting better and better as I go along. I can't get over how perfect the flow is, it just rolls right of the tongue. The emotion here is indescriable (sp?)...you manage to capture the feeling of heartache and loss beautifully here and with each lne read I can feel my heart dropping even further.

"Our love has devolved into a common sin,
Remorse splinters my body from deep within.
Enjoy your fame baby, this world wide debut,
Inferior rating is way overdue.
Hoping they see through you, and are not beguiled,
So that I may sleep with revenge for a while.
Each time said "I'm done giving you power."
You hack into my emotions, and devour.
So foolishly waltzing at your masquerade,
Prevents me from seeing just how I'll be played.
With one resplendent orb, these secrets impart,
A tear falls forever in a shattered heart. "

^^This has to be one of the best closings I have read on this site in all the years I've been a member.

Again the emotion and depth is beautiful, with a flawless flow and such detailed imagery. The lines you chose to repeat worked very well, they got the point across without ever becoming overbearing and killing the meaning behind the words.

This is one of my favourite forms to write but I tend to struggle with them sometimes. You however, have made it look effortless here.

Just beautiful!