Promised Love

Not once have I uttered the truth of your beauty to you,
Save one day
When even black wore the colors of life,
Our steps.. slow and together,
Walking corners, grass and stone,
Tracing back memories of fault.
Everything seemed perfect.
Save the flower that laid peacefully in the clench of your hand
It wasnt a token of mine
Our hands.. far apart, wishing I too was the flower
It was nice and nothing less
But alas no more
Drowned, consumed, fallen, forsaken.. no more wishes
Only vanishing hopes
Why didnt my confession bring back a reply?
But was received as a game, to humor ones time

I ask myself too many times: a mistake or mere stupidity on my part
To have confided.. given away my heart,
The lies we tell ourselves..
The lies I tell myself helps me get through the day,
Helps me smile
Helps me to wait for another day
But only in dismay.

I remember the brown in your eyes
That of an angel
The smile on the face of simplicity,
Remember only a couple of words though to describe you as though memorized
And repeated at night
And last I remember a promise
that made for our deathbed
mine would be first and yours would follow but in later years.
I would die for that one look and wait before death
For you
To keep your promise.. together
Then only in heaven again ?