A Tear Forever Falls in A Shattered Heart

by BrokenREALiTy   Oct 23, 2008


Flimsy fingers reach
grabbing gracefully with
eager strength
for overprotective warmth.

Responding grasps
through corporeal barriers
with careful thanks
for vastly joyous boon.

Clumsy toes stumble
one misstep to core misfortune;
a blow, a shout, a scream
--a cry.

Bloody memory
etched forever sinking;
a single dream...
morphed within

a shattered heart.

©20081022 Mindy Huang

*This was written with my best friend's miscarriage on mind, if that helps you understand.

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by ether

    I'm glad you mentioned the miscarriage down the bottom because I would have never picked it and probably would have thought this mean't something that contradicts itself, so thank you.

    Your vocabulary is stunning. You have all the right words to use in the right places, I'm envious.
    And the phrases you used were perfect, very image provoking and sad at the same time. Almost dark, even.

    Your punctuation is outstanding:
    "a blow, a shout, a scream
    --a cry."
    Wonderful.

    5/5

    jess ~

  • 16 years ago

    by Blissful

    I absolutely loved what you did with this title! You took it to a plac I wasnt expecting and wrote about a topic not usually written about. I could feel the pain you expressed at the end, I felt as if it was happening to me and it truly made me emotional. The flow here was just flawless and your word choice blew me away. I liked the style in which you wrote in because it was unique and kept me interested without making me feel lost. You descriptives were just perfect here because I could image everything your were describing.

    "Bloody memory
    etched forever sinking;
    a single dream...
    morphed within

    a shattered heart."

    ^The ending was just soo sad and you worded it beautifully. "Bloody memory"...great choice of words although it was so heartbreaking to imagine. :[ Just a flawless ending to a beautiful poem...I applaud you.

    Well done.
    *5/5*

  • 16 years ago

    by Finalgravedigger

    Yes the explaining of misscarriage does make this poem alot more sensible. nice write my favorite stanza was

    Clumsy toes stumble
    one misstep to core misfortune;
    a blow, a shout, a scream
    --a cry.

    i just visualized it for some reason.