its when i need you the most you happen to not be here. and it sucks more then anything. i cant stand it.
i try and cradle myself pretending as if you were right there next to me, telling me its okay and playing with my hair. as if i can believe anything anymore. i dont got much to lose.
i mess up everything and i dont know why. im always confussed, puzzled half the time. always trying to fix things, but always making worse then it already was. im frustrated and angry and only wishing you were here to catch me everytime i fell, but your not, never have, as much as i want you too be, its not enough to bring you here. people hate an despise you but i look away in ashame of saying that your my mom, but then i still say that i love you but also have that slim feeling inside that i hate you for giving up on me. we had every oppertunity to change things around but we let it fall apart, you watched me growing up but only for awhile, you seen the world slip from underneath me, and let me fall. you seen me cry and just shut the door, listen to me cry for your help, as i reached towards you, you pulled away evertime. and you expect me to forgive you, when i dont even wanna look at you. even though i love you, it hurts to much to think about starting new, its the fear that driddles inside me that the same thing will only happen again.
