Comments : I'll Write For You

  • 15 years ago

    by AngelicDecadence

    "I'll write for you one more time"
    You might like this instead:
    "I'll write for you one last time"
    It sounds better to me.. I don't know.

    "& your memory I'll loose in time"
    should be
    "& your memory I'll lose in time"
    (you also might want to spell out AND)

    "Your eyes no longer blurs my sight"
    should be
    "Your eyes no longer blur my sight"
    If "eyes" wasn't plural, you'd be right, but because it is, you need "blur" to be singular.

    "Write for one last good-bye"
    You might want to get rid of the "For" since there's already one in the line above.

    Other then that, this was great! Good job.
    5/5