Let Me

The first few stanzas were very good, the last few need work. I think it's the type of thing where you could make 2 poems instead of one. And, I think every poem needs to be it's own. So, I'd work on that. I think the flow was off in the ending stanzas as well. Which will probably be fixed as you change them a bit to fit the rest. You probably realize that I'm not telling you what EXACTLY to fix like a lot of people do, I use to tell people. But, I'd rather give them the idea so they can fix it on their own. If you can't figure out what I'm saying though, just PM me and I"d gladly go through and show you ways you could fix it.

Alright, I will of course be honest (: I think that this piece has a great potential, the story behind it is touching, and I really sense your heart struggling behind these words. But it my opinion, I think the rhymes seemed a bit forced, which messed with the meter throughout the poem. Rhyming is an option, and when you feel as though you can't get out what you want in rhymes, then don't worry about it. Suss out your feelings in a raw form, and then tweak them from there. I think this could be an amazing poem with a little bit more work. However as it stands right now, it is still good (;

This line really struck me, and
is absolutely wonderful:

"I will part mountains upon your step"

A beautiful and strong metaphor,
you sound like a fantastic friend.

Keep writing
down the bones,
`Nova

I believe this is a very heart warming and caring poem, i dont read too many of your poems but i liked it. I really wish someone was there like that for me.