I want to be the girl who he actually respects... instead of uses.
I want to be the girl who isn't just a best friend.
I want to be the girl that can change the way he thinks.
I want to be the girl that he wants to hold onto forever.
I don't want to be the girl who is just a friend.
I don't want to be the girl who isn't good enough for him.
I don't want to be the girl that gets unmeaningful cuddles.
I don't want to be the girl that get's his pity.
I don't want to be the girl who's heart he is breaking.
I want to be the girl who he can rely on everyday.
I want to be the girl that he could love with all his heart.
I want to be the girl that he thinks is pretty in everyway.
I want to be the girl that can be a best friend and a girlfriend.
I just want him to see how I feel.
To know how much he's hurting this girl.
To know that he's not the only one with problems.
To know that just being friends is hard.
To know that those cuddles mean the world to me.
To know that just touching him gives me butterflies.
To know that I'd do anything for one more kiss.
To know that I mean everything I tell him.
To know that I don't know what to do anymore.
To know that I will be here for him whenever he needs me.
To know that I will always be his best friend, no matter what.
To know that I will forever want more than friendship.
To know that I long for his affection.
To know that I know I'm not good enough for him... and never will be.
To know that sometimes I do think he's a d*** head.
But to know that everyday I wish he could feel the same.
I want to be the girl he rings up everyday.
I want to be the girl who he never wants to let go of.
I want to be the girl that holds his hand whenever they're together.
I want to be the girl that catches him staring.
I want to be the girl that he values and respects.
I want to be able to show my feelings for once.
I want to be able to look him in the face and show my hurt and disapointment.
I want him to know everything.
I want him to stop hurting me.
I want him to stop leading me on.
I want him to actually see that inside I'm dying.
I want him to know exactly how powerful he is over me.
I want him to know that I wait for his messages.
I want him to know I count down the hours until I see him.
I want him to know that everytime we're together my heart is singing.
And that everytime he leaves a piece of me goes with him.
I want him to know that I feel worse when he says "I'm just a friend" than the time I lost my long term relationship.
I want him to know that the first time I saw him I thought he was amazing.
I want him to know that I nearly lost everything for him, and when I did lose everything I never expected all of this to happen.
I want him to know that I have never felt good enough for him.
I want him to know that I'm sorry he lost his best mate.
I want him to know that if it wasn't for him I wouldn't be here today.
I want him to know that I just don't know what to do anymore...
But...
I don't want to lose what we already have.
I don't want to lose the best frienship I've ever had.
I don't want him to have one night stands.
I don't just want to be his friend.
I don't just want to sit next to him.
I don't want him to move away.
I don't want him getting stressed and poorly.
I don't want him to hate me.
I don't want to lose him.
I just can't go on anymore.
Without him.
I just wish I was that girl...
But I guess I never will be.
