Surviving suicide

I held a gun up to my head today,
It felt so real,
It felt ok.

I got so sick of feeling down,
I wanted to stop all my hurt,
And kill the frown.

I saw my life before my eyes,
I didn't like what was there,
So I brought myself to my demise.

The gun didn't fire correct,
But the bullet still shot,
And I laid there bleeding from the neck.

Then my life flashed again,
But I saw the good not the bad,
And I felt so much guilt within.

Good thing the neighbor heard the shot,
Called an ambulance and held me tight,
Otherwise I probably would have died on the spot.

I'm sorry mom for not thinking right,
You did your best and I thank you for that,
And I'm sorry mom for trying to end my life.

I'm happy though that I'm alive,
I just wanna change how I feel,
And do good in this second chance at life.