So my sneakers are a little dirty now
after all the waiting I've done for you while
standing in the putrid piles of my own defeat.
I knew she was the one for you (but only in your mind)
and in your mind is the only place it mattered,
because best friends are best friends for a reason:
They're lovers just waiting to happen but
world likes to play games with couples and
make them suffer beyond the tangled fingers of bliss.
October nights spent counting down the days
til your birthday comes and I plan the hour that I confess.
Sorry but the words just never seem to form quite right
so I'll just bite my tongue and hope my eyes
will bleed enough for the both of us to read.
And I wish you'd notice the way you look at me,
but like the first poem I ever handed you to read,
the only thoughts were, "What the hell does this mean?"
Ironic how we never really seem to understand
the stares we give and the warmth that we exchange.
Heaven knows my heart is healing in your hands,
the way they wrap around my palms and melt me
unlike the icy breath of my fingers against yours.
And it's only been a tick since I've heard your voice,
seen your face or inhaled your suggestive trace
but I miss you more than my lack of brash honesty--
and my only sense of true direction, lost completely
in the rough palms of your gentle hands.
You threw me a bone and I ran for it without thought;
it wasn't until after I had it at my fingertips that
I'd realized exactly what I'd gone and done.
And the many times you've caught me spacing out
are actually just because I found it hard to look away:
"These are the eyes that gaze at me each and everyday."
I wonder if you can see the way I look at you
'cause world knows I've stained myself with enough salt
to taste briny enough that you begin to like the tang.
So instead I'm gonna press my frozen lips against
the soft sizzling of your embracing skin--
and hope to god we won't melt too fast but rather
slowly into each others arms...
*I know this is different from my usual style, but my thoughts are all over the place right now that I just need to say what I need to say instead of sending cryptic messages...
