It feels like I have been crying,
my eyes hurt,
my heart is weak,
my throat feels like I have been screaming,
my body feels like it is ready to lay down
but I know I haven't been crying,
have I?
I don't remember any tears,
but you ask me why my cheeks are wet
and I stare at you dumbly.
Have I been crying?
Do I have reason to cry?
Should I,
do you think?
I pity you,
I envy your ability to feel pain,
but I pity you because of the pain you must endure;
it's like saying you love someone
and hope they might die-
I'm not selfish,
am I?
But at least I'm not alone.
I have an answer for every question,
a place in every heart,
yet I feel ike I am ignorant,
and lonely-
doesn't that defeat the purpose
of earlier words?
Can't you be surrounded,
yet remain alone?
I will never love you,
for you will never love the real me,
call it spiteful I don't care,
but You will never know me and my love-
would you understand?
it's not right,
it's not right,
why God is it not right?
Can you not fix me?
it's, i'm,
broken?
I wish I wish I wish,
i might?
