Titled

by ether   Nov 1, 2008


Carved the top off my favourite mountain,
Put a house on top with loss of judgement.
I moved away when you asked for my company,
Although now I miss the insects and trees.

Split decisions and blunt incisions,
Trying to cut the ties with you,
It's too much, too late- fog windows know
That attraction can burn yet not leave.

Because when we were offered two we took one,
It worked, it worked perfectly and we saw
The glitter of the stars, cheese on the moon,
All too soon, all too slow, we had nothing to share.

Still, I am the one who had been with you through forest of fire,
Watched the flames dance in your hair, it burned and scared,
Then I watched you walk away from the embers into the night,
And I wonder how you'll explain your scars to the next person you find.

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  • 16 years ago

    by Miss Behaving

    This poem made more sense to me than the "Lighting" poem. Your poems are original and have a very interesting way at going at it. Keeps you on your toes. I love the ending the most, yet its sad. It burns the image into my head seeing this guy walking away through the flames into the night. You are awesome at describing and makes it easier to picture what you are saying in the poem. 5/5 Very nice poem =)

  • 16 years ago

    by El

    Split decisions and blunt incisions,
    Trying to cut the ties with you,'

    Those lines were so great. they just kinda hit me n i was like :O!

    It is very different to the other sad poems but its very powerful and fantastic =)

  • 16 years ago

    by kate

    This was very creative. You don't talk about what others talk about in sad poems. about cutting or losing someone just out like that. You put into other words and form to get your point across of how you two did get eachother of what you did out of other words, you did an amazing job. I really like this one.

    keep it up.
    keep on writing.
    love always and forever.

  • 16 years ago

    by Finalgravedigger

    WOW, that was a truly capitivating poem, i especially loved the first stanza, it was truly flawless too many, i loved how you described things. Nice work

  • 16 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    Very nice free flow with great personified natural metaphors
    I am impressed

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