You reposted it XD
Well you know I think it's bloody awesome now when you gonna stick to that promise and teach me to write like that ^^
Brilliant flow and I love the twist where she dosent wake up

Totally argee glad you put it back up, its bloody fantastic better than half the others on here, flow + rhyme + style = perfect
Yourrr soo 1 of my fav writters ^^
5/5

Take care -Dave-

This is really good. I could picture it in my head because the flow was so good. The wording was amazing. It seems like there are a few places you skip out of rhyming though.

Wow...great poem and good flow too. the rhyme was ok but could be better (not that it bothers me because i loved it) great work keep it up.

suicidal Love

This is a really good poem. It rythmes and it also has a very descritive way about it, something that is hard to find.

It's very well done and there aren't many improvements I would suggest that you put up here. I really think that you are one of the better poets on this site.

You've used metaphores and similies to paint a picture rather than an adjuctive. Really well done!

5/5

I loved this It was amazing! I loved how this totally painted a great picture for me. And im sure for everyone as well. Keep up the great work!

Wow. This poem is everything a poem should be: rhythmically pleasing, full of great imagery and heartfelt emotion. It is also set upon a topic so many people can relate to. 5/5

Sarah

Fantastic is all i can say

flow - amazing
rhymes - equally good

very emotional
you reali paint a picture with your words

well done
keep writing

Emotion seems so far away
A poison so divine,
I long to feel a loving hold
A heart in which is mine
^^in the last line it flows better if it just says "A heart which is mine" other than that i adore the first to lines : ) great wording

Heavens beauty opens now
Yet this darkness blinds my way,
Guide me through the shadows
For I know not the words to pray
^^flow is still perfect! it just makes me wonder why you are still blinded? it is good for the reader to get curious it keeps us intrigued and involved with your writing

These broken eyes are heavy
For a prince I cannot wait,
I've searched for an eternity
Now this seclusion is my fate
^^ sometimes its when you are about to give up that you get it! hang in there! there is a reason you are not getting what you want when you want

To feel loves first true kiss
I've Wished for so very long,
This heartbeat is getting slower
Theres no melody in this song
^^ the first to lines remind me of that movie Enchanted! very cute ! but than the last two make the reader just go aww....hang in there girly!!!

Prince you may have come for me
By my side you'd forever stay
Yet to this slumber I am bound
For this bed in death I lay
^^wow a twist great ending though!

great job flow and wording was perfect! 5/5

Beautiful. it has perfect rhythm and the storyline is relatable. You have talent love = ]

-Lilith

I didn't know which poem to comment on they are all really good..Marry Christmas

Sorry i'm late :) i like this poem it's way different then the stuff you usually write keep it up.

I really like this poem. a lot.

the opeing:
"Emotion seems so far away
A poison so divine,
I long to feel a loving hold
A heart in which is mine"

this is my favorite part and the part that speaks to me, and probably a lot of other people, the most.
and i love how you described it as "a poison so divine", great metaphor!

keep up the great work!

I really liked the images this poem constructed in my mind. The rhyme worked really well and the whole thing just flowed beautifully.
I think it is a fantastic poem and i really enjoyed reading it!
xx

That was fantastic. The obvious references to fairytales creates an undertone to the poem as whole (in my opinion, obviously); and that is that you consider the often romanticized concept of "love" as something that children are told about, but that most adults never fully experience. Your own admission to this was beautifully done when in your last quatrain.

Your use of meter, as well as your rhyme scheme also worked well in an almost satirical way; the criticism of that which is instilled upon us from a young age - as well as the resulting torment and misery - is something that I find humorous, however it was excellently done, nonetheless.

Definite 5/5. Keep up the great work.

Emotion seems so far away
A poison so divine,
I long to feel a loving hold
A heart in which is mine

** Good opening stanza, but I would change EMOTION to EMOTIONS. Usually, (yes, even guys) people have emotions, is in more that one emotion.

Heavens beauty opens now
Yet this darkness blinds my way,
Guide me through the shadows
For I know not the words to pray

** Another good stanza. I was a little disappointed in the word BEAUTY though. Maybe try GLORY or maybe adding an adjective in front of BEAUTY. Personally, I think DEVINE BEAUTY or GLORY sound good. Don't get me wrong, BEAUTY is a good word, but when your speaking of Heaven, I imagine the grandest of the grand, the most beautiful of the most beautiful. I thought BEAUTY is too weak to fill the role here.

** I love the second line. Makes me think of a person lost in the woods; stumbling around for an exit that's right in front of them, but the just cant see it.

** The next two lines are great as well.

These broken eyes are heavy
For a prince I cannot wait,
I've searched for an eternity
Now this seclusion is my fate

** Not sure if I like the BROKEN EYES part. Normally, BROKEN would describe a bone or a spirit or a heart. I didn't like it describing EYES. Maybe TIRED or EXHAUSTED would sound better.

** Again, I thought an adjective would help in the third line. This line left me wanting more; but it didn't offer anything else. Maybe I'VE SEARCHED THE UNIVERSE or TIMELESS ETERNITY would help here.

To feel loves first true kiss
I've Wished for so very long,
This heartbeat is getting slower
There's no melody in this song

** Good stanza, nothing noticeable here.

Prince you may have come for me
By my side you'd forever stay
Yet to this slumber I am bound
For this bed in death I lay

** This was another good stanza, but I did not like the final line. When you read it aloud, it doesn't sound like a sentence that you would speak. Maybe try saying UPON MY DEATHBED I LAY.

** Overall, you have a good poem. I would use a few less contractions and spell out YOU WOULD instead of YOU'D. The intro was good, but the title confused me. I could not tell if you had typos or if I just didn't understand the title at all.

Sorry, in my last comment I mixed up your site name with the title. Please omit the part about being confused about your title.

Sorry.

This was an amazing write, to start with.
It drew me in. I like the pattern, the originality of the flow. It's interesting.
Sleeping Beauty is a much less common fairy tale reference... This one was used perfectly. It brought it in, but held it at bay until the "grand finale"
In my opinion, the first stanza was the best. It had fresh flavor while the others did seem to drag just a bit. Some of the ways you word things complicates the reading a bit.
Other than rearranging wordings and small things, I would leave it the same.

I cannot find anything wrong here

well done

This is a beautiful poem. The stage is set in the first two lines. Aware of your wounds; detached, yet not beyond that which makes you bleed... I don't know. I found the second stanza particularly haunting for some reason. It is one of the most beautifully written dark poems I have ever read. It made me feel something that I can't quite define, and that is what a true poet can do. They make us aware of that which lies within us, even if we don't always identify with it.