Severed [pleiades]

by Kait   Nov 2, 2008


Someone screams in the depths of a lonely night.
Somewhere, that girl aches for affection.
Silently in a night like tonight, her boyfriend went away.
Stolen his very own life, and crushed every moment of hers.
Suicide never crossed her mind until she seen how he left.
So now she is left with so many questions and no answers.
Severed was their bond, and severed was her, now, broken heart.

[Pleiades]
A pleiades is a poem consisting of 7 lines. The title has only one word and each line must start with the first letter of the title.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    You did well with this form and I especially
    liked this part:
    Somewhere, that girl aches for affection.
    Silently in a night like tonight, her boyfriend went away.
    Stolen his very own life, and crushed every moment of hers

    It shows the hurt of loosing and at the same time left hapless..good write!
    Take care.

  • 16 years ago

    by Dark Savior

    This is a good poem. I enjoyed it even though the subject is parhaps over used. I found that you made it your own and really did a great job on it.

    Last line in the poem. you should change all the was' to is' was means past tense like she is over it, I know it happened in the past, but she is still feeling the effect and her heart is obviously. Other than that, nothing bad to say about it.

    I felt that the rythme was really good, flow as good as well. I enjoyed this poem and felt it was well worth a read!

    5 out of 5 Boss Stars!

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