Hmm... this was better then the last. Try maybe separating the lines, add another line where each coma is, the poem will seem longer and the rhyming will be easier to find. (remember these are only suggestions) It will also help the flow.
Good job though,
*Chaotic Angel*

Chris!!! Haha this is REALLLLLY good. Good doesnt even describe how good it is! lol But DO you love her?