Self Portrait

by Monica AKA Mika   Nov 3, 2008


He said...
Today is the day you change your ways,
No more wishful thinking and gloomy days.
Because I. I see your future through,
I'm sure about everything and I'm most definitely certain about you.
You see, I am the eyes, the ears, the fingers- the toes.
I am the one you question and will always know.
No matter the question- Who. What, When, Where or Why
Believe it or not, but I could even tell you when you will die.
But I won't do that, Naw that's against the rules.
Just because you can don't mean you abuse your tools.
Naw- I'mma act like I ain't here, like I can't hear you at all.
That way you be frantic when you THINK I don't hear your call.
See cuz I don't come when you want me
I come when I'm needed,
When that path I've drawn out for you goes un-ucceeded.
So when your life seems like it ain't where it's supposed to be.
Just know that you just tracin the lines for me.
For your picture is completed, you just need to color it in,
And when you feel you can't find the right shade of faith...
...Just know I'm deep within....

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by HvN

    Very deep and amazing ryme and flow. The images you conveyed were perfect and it is very sweet :]

    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by DarkCrystalbtrfy

    Once again your use of god in this poem helps the reader identify with your own voice and actions related through the poem itself. The rhyme as well as the rythm adds a nice touch as well. I look forward to reading your other pieces.

  • 16 years ago

    by andhereIstand

    This is really nice- i like the ryme scheme.

    i think there might be a spelling error in this line: When that path I've drawn out for you goes un-ucceeded.

    in the last word ^^^

    also, theres a bit of slang and it doesn't take away form the poem, but it makes me wonder if you would be able to write with the same depth NOT using slang.
    Please don't take offense to that, I could never write WITH slang, so this might just be your style.
    well, ium moving on to another of your poems, so i hope my comment help! great job...

  • 16 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    There was quite an amount of slang.. which is why it doesn't belong in this category to begin with.. but while reading the poem and understanding your words.. I found this write to be very interesting and I thought that you did a great job with explaining yourself through this poem.. Good job! :] 5/5.

  • 16 years ago

    by ghosts in bloom

    (: This is a unique piece. I read it two times over, because it really intrigued me. Usually I am not a fan of poetry with "slang" in it I guess you could say, but the heart behind this poem is so wonderful. It is written sincerely, and matter of fact, and I really enjoyed it for that reason. These last lines were absolutely amazing, and my favorite:

    "So when your life seems like it ain't where it's supposed to be.
    Just know that you just tracin the lines for me.
    For your picture is completed, you just need to color it in,
    And when you feel you can't find the right shade of faith...
    ...Just know I'm deep within.... "

    Simply stunning!
    A wonderful job!

    Keep writing down the bones,
    `Nova

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