I really think this would make a great song... I love the chorus:

When my eyes closed forever
And shall I not wake up
I'll be dreaming of you
While I'm up in the clouds

-It's a great expression of when you have passed away you're still thinking of him while you're in heaven

And don't forget me
And when emptiness creeps up on you
Recall me in your memory

-i love the way u phrase the 2nd line

Breakaway from all the rest
Because tonight, it's all about you and me

-this clearly states that nothing else matter
itz all about the both of you

Wow if have an audio for this song i would love to hear it
5/5 from me;)